Yad Rachel

By: A Yad Rachel Mentor/Volunteer I once attended a lecture years ago about postpartum depression. I volunteer at Yad Rachel, and this training like many others was mandatory. The speaker, a popular social worker who specialized in treating women of child bearing years, was asked to educate us on perinatal mood disorders. After spending time giving over many scientific facts and percentages, she suddenly shared a message that was both powerful and direct. “Ladies, there is a disease that is rampant in your community that is causing untold amounts of stress and anxiety. No, not postpartum depression. It’s called the disease of perfectionism. It’s destroying women and their families, and we must fight it!” She went on to share that in her many years of practice, she has counselled women of all different ethnicities, cultures, backgrounds. ” in general, women especially mothers, can be hard on themselves. But of all the women I’ve seen, Orthodox Jewish moms have placed unrealistic expectations upon themselves that are impossible to achieve or maintain that are bringing them to a breaking point ” She listed the demands we make on ourselves one by one, and we all nodded along. Perfect Wife – We need to be supportive, encouraging, and […]

There is a world of difference between clinical depression and having a bad day. When I was a young rabbi and I first encountered someone with depression, I vividly remember thinking to myself, why can’t he just snap out of it? What does he mean when he says he sleeps most of the day and can’t concentrate on anything? We are all tired and dealing with stress. Just resolve to get out of bed and get going. I remember not being able to understand why he was so depressed. After all, by all measures, his life was pretty good. If he were to just focus on the blessings and simply choose to be positive, he wouldn’t be depressed at all. Looking back, I am incredibly grateful that I didn’t articulate any of these sentiments to him, but nevertheless, I feel ashamed and even guilty for having being so ignorant and insensitive to what depression is all about. We perpetrate a terrible disservice by using the exact same word to describe how we feel when our favorite team gets knocked out of the playoffs or when our cell phone breaks, and a chemical, clinical illness that can be debilitating and incapacitating. Clinical […]

8 tips to help you cope. The suicide of beloved comic actor Robin Williams has again brought the topic of depression to the forefront. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have the weight of such unendurable despair that is so intense you cannot bear even staying in this world. But I know all too well what it is like to live with family members who have depression. One of my parents, a sibling, my husband, and one of my children have also suffered from this black cloud, in varying degrees, and for varying lengths of time. I have spent much of my life living with people I love with all my heart who often have trouble feeling happy or optimistic. This is in itself is very, very painful. Depression runs in families, and seems to be especially common among Ashkenazi Jews. Maybe our difficult history somehow let it seep into our psychological DNA. Depressive episodes don’t necessarily have causes. While traumatic events can trigger depression, in many cases it is part of a person’s psychological make-up, and I was at first baffled when years ago, my daughter, who had everything going for her, including friends and success in school, suddenly […]

Even though you feel like a bad mother,Doesn’t mean you aren’t a good enough one. (There is NO such a thing as a perfect mother. It doesn’t exist. The desire to be one is what makes you great! Your willingness makes u great!)  Even though you feel like you are doing nothing,Doesn’t mean you are worthless. (You are valuable and precious to so many with a heart of gold that’s just broken right now.)  Even though you are angry at your kids and sometimes yell,Doesn’t mean you don’t love them. (Kids are resilient and more forgiving than any adult. They understand mommy’s not feeling well.)  Even though you feel weak and tired and can’t do as much as you once did,Doesn’t mean you aren’t the strongest bravest person who is battling a huge battle with courage and dignity. (Admitting you are broken and need help takes superhuman strength.)  Even though everyone around you seems to be managing and functioning,Doesn’t mean they are judging you even if it feels that way. (Compare and despair – not everyone’s outsides match their insides!)  Even though this PPD feels endless and hopeless,Doesn’t mean there isn’t a light at the end of this tunnel. (You […]

We are so thrilled to share with all our readers that our Walkathon 2015 was a tremendous success!!!! For those of you unaware, our annual fundraiser is our Yad Rachel Walkathon, an event geared to girls ages 8-12! It takes place each year in the May-June time, on a Sunday morning in a beautiful Lakewood park.

This article originally appeared in Mishpacha/Family First (Issue 425, January 14, 2015). @Mishpacha Magazine 2015 www.mishpacha.com WHAT HAPPENS IF YOUR NEW BABY BRINGS YOU ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, INSTEAD OF JOY AND DELIGHT? HOW TO RECOGNIZE – AND RECOVER FROM- POSTPARTUM REACTIONS “MOMMY, I WANT TO MAKE YOU A BIRTHDAY PARTY,” Shloimy said, eyes bright. “Hmm,” Leba mumbled, her head ensconced in a novel. “You know why, Mommy? Maybe if I make you a party, then you’ll smile.” An English teacher by profession, Leba Katz was as normal as they come. She was geshikt too: Despite giving birth to her sixth child just months earlier, her family always had fresh suppers, clean laundry, and sparkling floors. Which is why, despite repeated red flags, it never dawned on her that something was wrong. “My son’s remark should have been a bulletin from Shamayim,” Leba reflects. “But depression was for weirdos. I was Leba Katz, the oldest of a well-known heimishe family from Boro Park.” It took another alarming incident for Leba and her husband to realize they needed help. At 11:30 p.m. one night, Leba began walking out the door, wearing only a robe and socks. “Where are you going?” her husband […]

HERE ARE SOME IMPORTANT TIPS AND TOOLS TO HELP NEW MOMS TRANSITION INTO THEIR NEW ROLE AFTER BIRTH. FOLLOWING THESE STEPS WILL HELP KEEP YOU HEALTHY AND STRONG. Sleep–  A lack of sleep increases anxiety and depression. Mothers need a minimum of a 5 hour stretch with naps during the day to function. Exercise– A little exercise moves your body, even when you don’t want to a little exercise is better than none. It promotes sleep and helps our mind by releasing endorphins (the feel good hormone). Laugh– It feels good to laugh. It helps our immune system  and reduces stress. Look for fun in life, its there. tip: look in the mirror- stretch your lips to a smile. Your facial expressions are hard wired to our brains. Then look in your eyes and say something silly.. you will laugh😉 Food– Always eat healthy. Low carbs, limit sugars and eliminate caffeine.  Keep hydrated- 6 glasses of water a day. Increase vegetables and protein for energy. ex: start your day with oatmeal covered in nuts and cranberries. IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH AND SUSPECT YOU MAY NEED ADDITIONAL HELP, HERE ARE A FEW MORE IMPORTANT SUGGESTIONS: Journal– Write about your baby’s day, rate […]