His name was Yekusiel Shemaya Tuvia Moshe Wein.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cBut you can call me Moish,\u201d he said, with an air of someone who\u2019s been through it enough times that he reflexively explained, \u201cI\u2019m named for a few different elter zeides, and I was also born on Zayin Adar, so my father shlita thought it was a good name. But like I said, just call me Moish.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And so I got to meet Moish, an older bochur with a history of OCD who had been at the same chassidishe yeshivah for the past seven years. Moish had come for a consultation regarding his medication regimen, and his story was pretty straightforward: He was a \u201cchecker,\u201d and a slave to his fears of missing something when it came to kavanos or halachos. His was a textbook case of the bochur who was still adjusting his tefillin for Shacharis three hours later, and would miserably repeat the same tefillah over and over to ensure he\u2019d pronounced Hashem\u2019s name correctly. He hated his life and was on his way to hating Yiddishkeit.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And who could blame him? The poor guy could barely get through Shacharis before 2 p.m.! How could he possibly feel any connection to a supremely loving Eibeshter?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n But Moish had a history of good response to treatment and had seen top clinicians in the past. So it was a bit of a puzzle as to why he hadn\u2019t been able to successfully move on, given his success in some exceptional treatment programs. And yet here he was in my office, asking what sounded like a first-time question.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cSo what medication should I take?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWell, according to the medical history I have in front of me, I\u2019d say the same one that worked for you when you tried it last year, Moish,\u201d I answered.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cOh,\u201d he nodded sheepishly. \u201cI guess that makes sense. There\u2019s nothing new out there in the past year or so?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWhy would you need anything new, Moish? You\u2019ve had a good response to this in the past.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cYeah. I guess you\u2019re right.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Apparently Moish had taken the same medication on and off for years. The high-dose antidepressant had been excellent for him. The mystery of Moish\u2019s case wasn\u2019t \u201cwhat medicine should I use?\u201d rather it was \u201cwhy do you stop taking it as soon as you\u2019re doing well?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n And so I asked him point-blank: \u201cMoish, it seems like every time you take your meds and start doing better, something happens and then you stop. The worrying and checking come back and then things are a disaster all over again. How many times has this happened? By my count it seems like at least three separate times since you started yeshivah gedolah. Why, Moish?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Moish blushed and looked at the floor. \u201cFour times, Dr. Freedman. I know it seems crazy. But, well, it\u2019s complicated.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHow about we bring in your family to discuss it? I\u2019m sure that having them on board to support you can help break this pattern and give you a chance to maintain some serious success once and for all.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Moish was palpably embarrassed. \u201cMy mother passed away a few years ago. Shprintza bas Tuvia\u2014\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cOy, I\u2019m so sorry, Moish. But what about your father then?\u201d I asked.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHe\u2019s very busy. He\u2019s not coming in.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I let it be for the time being and filed it away as something to be explored later. But after a few months of treatment and significant improvement, it looked like we were headed for crash number five when Moish came in to tell me that he had \u201cforgotten\u201d his medication for a few days.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n When I sought to clarify, Moish admitted to having stopped his medication again two weeks previously. Remembering previous conversations, it suddenly hit me. \u201cMoish, who told you to stop the medications now that you were doing better, and it looked like you could start shidduchim?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHey, how\u2019d you know?\u201d Moish asked with notable surprise.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWas it your father who told you to stop the meds, Moish?\u201d I asked gently.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Moish was quiet.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cYour father, he doesn\u2019t believe in treatment?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHe\u2019s not some sort of idiot, Dr. Freedman. He\u2019s actually a choshuve dayan in our chassidus.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cSo what makes him think that stopping your medication is such a chiyuv, Moish?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHe thinks that this is all because my mother died, that it\u2019s just \u2018nerves\u2019 and not OCD. I keep telling him that it\u2019s not, but he made up his mind that I started having these episodes after she passed away, even though I remind him that I had these symptoms even before the car crash.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cI\u2019d like to talk to him.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWell, he\u2019s pretty busy. All appointments go through the gabbai.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cMoish, as your doctor, I have an achrayus to make sure you get healthy and stay healthy. If you think your father is a major roadblock in you conquering your OCD, then I need to get this through to him. How about I go pay him a visit?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cYou\u2019d do that?\u201d Moish looked like a ton of bricks had just been lifted off his shoulders.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Moish let me know where I could find his father and what times he was available for sh\u2019eilos. I found a night that worked for me, and waited my turn in the beis medrash outside the Dayan\u2019s Bnei Brak office, until I was summoned inside.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cWhat can I help you with?\u201d Dayan Wein asked with the brevity I might have expected from a chassidishe dayan surely surprised to find an American-looking fellow sitting across from him at the end of receiving hours.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cKevod Dayan Wein,\u201d I began, \u201cmy name is Yaakov Freedman and I\u2019m a physician in Yerushalayim.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cNice to meet you, Dr. Freedman. It\u2019s pretty late for someone who has to work in the morning, so what can I do for an American doctor from Yerushalayim at midnight in Bnei Brak?\u201d he said through a warm smile.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n I first asked him a sh\u2019eilah that had actually been on my mind regarding patients who are too fatigued to daven Maariv and regularly fall asleep before sunset in the summer. Dayan Wein offered a sensitive response, including some thoughts about the concept of \u201conus patur min hamitzvah,\u201d when a person is \u201cforced\u201d or trapped by circumstances, and then gave me a brachah that I should always have koach to daven Maariv b\u2019zeman.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cAmen. Thank you, Dayan Wein,\u201d I said as I prepared to ask the more uncomfortable question: \u201cAnd what about someone who doesn\u2019t manage to daven on time because his illness sidetracks him? Someone who could clearly benefit from treatment but his parents don\u2019t feel it\u2019s the right derech for him? Is he also considered an onus who is patur min hamitzvah?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Dayan Wein closed his eyes for a moment as he sought to mentally access the relevant sugyos. Moments later he asked, \u201cBut why does it have to be a conflict? Can\u2019t there just be an open discussion with his family on how to best help the patient? Clearly a doctor who is a baal yiras Shamayim like yourself should be able to speak with the parents to help them understand why you\u2019ve made the treatment recommendations that they are opposing.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cDayan Wein, may I give you the name of a patient who needs a refuah?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cCertainly, Dr. Freedman.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cHis name is Yekusiel Shemaya Tuvia Moshe ben Shprintza.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Dayan Wein looked up in shock, then began to stroke his beard silently, while I waited for his response.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n \u201cOkay, Dr. Freedman, you win. If it\u2019s this important that you\u2019re willing to schlep out to see me on your own time, then I\u2019m willing to listen to how you want me to help my son.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n At that point, I knew we\u2019d all win.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of patients, their families, and all other parties.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 768.\u00a0Jacob L. Freedman is a psychiatrist and business consultant based in Israel. When he\u2019s not busy with his patients, Dr. Freedman can be found learning Torah in the Old City or hiking the hills outside of Jerusalem. Dr. Freedman can be reached most easily through his website www.drjacoblfreedman.com<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “Who told you to stop taking your meds, Moish?”<\/p>\n His name was Yekusiel Shemaya Tuvia Moshe Wein.<\/p>\n \u201cBut you can call me Moish,\u201d he said, with an air of someone who\u2019s been through it enough times that he reflexively explained, \u201cI\u2019m named for a few different elter zeides, and I was also born on Zayin Adar, so my father shlita thought it was a good name. But like I said, just call me Moish.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/yadrachelnj.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/meds.jpg\")
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