Feasting, dancing, gift giving, happiness and joy are the themes of the day.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
So why is it so stressful?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Why is it that some of us aren\u2019t feeling that happy vibe and instead feeling anxious \u2026 feeling overwhelmed\u2026feeling tired\u2026 and even, although we feel shame admitting it, maybe feeling DREAD?<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n It\u2019s a challenging holiday.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n So much to do and accomplish for such a short day. Endless costumes, discussions about costumes, costume accessories, and then there\u2019s creating endless amounts of\u00a0Shalach Manos<\/em>, kids\u00a0Shalach Manos<\/em>\u00a0(when did that become the standard?), notes to be written to\u00a0Rebbeim<\/em>, teachers, therapists, delivering those endless amounts of\u00a0Shalach Manos<\/em>\u00a0in the endless traffic, hearing\u00a0Megillah\u00a0<\/em>twice while juggling babies who can\u2019t attend\u00a0Megillah<\/em>, preparing Seudos<\/em>, attending long\u00a0Seudos<\/em>\u00a0where kids are hyper from too much sugar and too little sleep, dealing with a tipsy husband, the mess, the fatigue\u2026 Yes it\u2019s a challenging holiday. And to some here in the Yad Rachel family, it\u2019s even more than just challenging. When dealing with a post-partum mood disorder, a Yom Tov like this can be so triggering. One wouldn\u2019t recommend someone who is healing from an anxiety disorder to throw themselves headfirst into chaos and lack of routine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Here at Yad Rachel we understand this dilemma.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n We don\u2019t judge or criticize anyone who feels this inner turmoil. We respect how absolutely challenging it might be.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n One good way of dealing with an event that\u2019s looming on the calendar is coming prepared. 1- Sit down and have a frank and open discussion with a friend\/ family member you trust.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n 2- If your\u00a0Shalach Man<\/em>os hasn\u2019t been made yet, keep it simple.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n 3- Cut your list in half Plot out a route with only super important drop offs. If going in and out of the car is stressful, stay inside the vehicle and send your child representative to the door.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n 4- Ask a Rav if you have to fast 5- Prepare good nourishing breakfast and lunch<\/strong><\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n THIS IS IMPERATIVE.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n You need strength and\u00a0koach<\/em>\u00a0and energy. Make sure to take a few minutes Purim morning to sit down to a warm breakfast. Same goes for your children \u2013 full stomachs equal calm children.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Breakfast ideas \u2013 whole wheat grilled cheese in sandwich maker. Or one bowl of instant hot cereal with a sliced banana or other fresh fruit. Have time? Make an omelet loaded with cheese and veggies and serve with spelt crackers. The fuller they are; the less nosh they will eat. The fuller you are; the more energy you have to deal.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Lunch \u2013 More often than not, the\u00a0Purim Seudah<\/em>\u00a0is late afternoon\/evening. The kids have been up super early; because the day they have been waiting for a full year has arrived! By the time\u00a0noon\u00a0comes around they are famished.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n Here are some ideas \u2013
And of course, weighing most on your mind, is feeling terrible shame that you aren\u2019t HAPPY. And feeling so guilty that you are secretly waiting for it to end.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n![\"stress](\"http:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20200804091550\/https:\/\/yadrachelnj.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/stress-quote.jpg\")
Be prepared physically, emotionally, and mentally. Come up with a strategy. Often, a well devised plan eliminates a tremendous part of the unmanageability.
Here\u2019s some good ideas to help insure your Purim goes smoothly:<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Share your feelings. Share your fears. Admit the dread. Often, just getting the feelings out in the open and admitting they exist gives us immediate relief. Be specific so that they can help you brainstorm.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Newsflash- no one really truly cares about your\u00a0Shaloch Manos<\/em>. They are just wondering if you are admiring theirs. Seriously, we hate using the clich\u00e9 but it\u2019s so apropos- it\u2019s the thought that counts. Your friends and family want to see your smiling face on Purim, not your perfect\u00a0Manos<\/em>. This is not the time of year to obsess over color schemes, themes, ribbons, cellophane. Find what works for you- if you prefer to bake, if it\u2019s relaxing and enjoyable, keep it simple with biscotti or muffins.
If you can\u2019t imagine making anything homemade, go to the nearest candy store, ask a sales lady the following \u201chi, I need your help. Can u walk me through the store and help me put together a\u00a0Shaloch Manos<\/em>\u00a0for under six dollars, including bag, ribbon, sticker?\u201d Most likely, they will have done this hundreds of times this past week so they will be helpful and fast.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
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Here\u2019s the rule in my house \u2013 every child picks ONE teacher to visit on\u00a0Purim<\/em>. The rest gets sent to school. Period. No discussions. We\u2019ve been doing this for years and everyone is still alive and well B\u2019H.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
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As someone who has a history of PPD, or if you are currently in treatment for PPD, you might not have to fast\u00a0Taanis Esther<\/em>\u00a0. Please remember a\u00a0Psak<\/em>\u00a0about whether or not to fast, is a very clear yes or no answer. If you are told not to, don\u2019t hesitate, or second guess it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n
Cholent\/goulash crockpot.
This is genius. The night before\u00a0Purim<\/em>, put up a big nourishing crockpot of meat and potatoes, or chicken and rice, maybe even a rich veggie soup, whatever your family prefers.
You and your children can dip in and enjoy any time during the day, and it\u2019s both baby and adult friendly.<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n