By: A grateful Yad Rachel client who struggled with and overcame postpartum depression.
It’s hard to accept when i always EXPECT!! I know that my expectations are unrealistic. I expect my life to go according to my script that I have personally designed and imagined with all the details included. It’s hard to accept when I’m rigid with my planning and curve balls keep getting in the way. And so… When I expect to feel calm, relaxed, and clear when my mind just cant get there, I have a hard time accepting the fragmented, anxious, jittery feelings. It surprises me that these moods can come at serene times and catch me off guard. It makes me feel so frustrated why I’m feeling anxious without a person or situation to put the blame on. It’s at these moments that I’m learning to ACCEPT. I must accept that it’s okay to feel down, moody and fragile for a period of time or days. I must accept these moods, and view them as a heavenly sent situation that comes and goes according to his will. When I berate myself for feeling so “yucky” it only prolongs my situation and pulls me down further as my mind starts playing the guilt game.
Recently I’ve heard a lecture by R’ Zev Smith that miraculously changed my view on dealing with a difficult day. When Hashem created the Yetzer Hora on the third day of creation, the Torah refers to him as “Tov Meod”. This may seem puzzling since we all know that our evil inclination is our worst enemy. However, it really is coming to give us an uplifting message. The times where the Yetzer Hora seem to have us in his clutches is a opportunity for “Tov Meod”. Any positive action or avodas Hashem done on that day is considered so much more valuable and precious in the eyes of the Ribono Shel Olam. It’s our chance to earn double or triple mileage for any good deed, as only He knows how much effort is needed.
So… ACCEPT LIFE, ACCEPT IT’S MOODS, AND ACCEPT IT LOVINGLY.
Accept that this too is heavenly decreed and has a special purpose. View yourself as a puppet in the hand of a Loving Puppeteer who is running the show perfectly. Know with every fiber, that this hard moment is going to pass, and the only thing remaining will be your everlasting double or triple reward for accepting and rising above the mood.