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So far Rachel has created 40 blog entries.

Postpartum Depression

Did you get the medication??? The text is from my husband, his urgency expressed by the three question marks. His timing is perfect because it’s just minutes after the pharmacy delivered it. I hold the small amber-colored vial in my hand, feeling equally relieved and embarrassed. Lexapro, 10 MG. To be taken once daily. I can’t believe I’m back here, in this same humbling and humiliating place. I thought I was done with this. But once again, I’m turning to these tiny white tablets, seeking help for the anxiety that has taken over my life. I sigh deeply, hesitating, not wanting to open it.

2024-06-03T02:35:11+00:00June 1st, 2024|Our VOICE|

Square One

Did you get the medication??? The text is from my husband, his urgency expressed by the three question marks. His timing is perfect because it’s just minutes after the pharmacy delivered it. I hold the small amber-colored vial in my hand, feeling equally relieved and embarrassed. Lexapro, 10 MG. To be taken once daily. I can’t believe I’m back here, in this same humbling and humiliating place. I thought I was done with this. But once again, I’m turning to these tiny white tablets, seeking help for the anxiety that has taken over my life. I sigh deeply, hesitating, not wanting to open it.

2024-06-06T17:56:49+00:00May 5th, 2024|Our VOICE|

Slowly Digging Out of Depression’s Darkness

I am running, running, on the racetrack, trying to get to the finish line so I can finally sit down with my feet up, to enjoy the satisfied pleasure of accomplishment. My feet ache, the sun’s rays are burning, and a headache is forming and gaining strength. I wish that my path wasn’t so long—and that the weather be cooler, that I would be stronger, that the headache would wait until I could sink into oblivion on my cozy bed.

2024-05-29T21:45:33+00:00March 6th, 2024|Uncategorized|

Postpartum Depression

It was as if I were being buried alive, sinking in quicksand, unable to find my way out. That's how I felt after the birth of my sixth child. I was irritable; I cried; I was exhausted, yet had trouble sleeping. Getting through each day seemed nearly impossible. My own children avoided me; my husband tiptoed around me. I was convinced that my family and the world would be better off without me.

2024-03-06T17:07:50+00:00January 10th, 2022|Uncategorized|

Being Grounded

Once or twice a week I work for a very special organization called NITZA, The Israel Center for Maternal Health. Located in Jerusalem, it provides psychological, physical and emotional support for women with postpartum depression. While I have observed that there are similarities between the women who come to NITZA, there are no concrete rules. A first-time mother is just as likely to come to the clinic as a woman who gave birth to her sixth child.

2024-03-06T17:08:26+00:00January 10th, 2022|Uncategorized|

Coming to Grips with My Anxiety Disorder

I suffer from an anxiety disorder which includes bouts of clinical depression. Although this illness is usually hushed up and kept secret, one in ten people suffer right along with me, each in their self-imposed silence. I share my story with the hope of educating others to understand the dynamics of emotional illness and what it’s like to be caught in its tight grip. Perhaps as a result of my words greater sensitivity and compassion will prevail and others will react to a sufferer’s pain accordingly.

2024-03-06T17:08:53+00:00January 4th, 2021|Our VOICE|

Just Nerves?

"Who told you to stop taking your meds, Moish?" His name was Yekusiel Shemaya Tuvia Moshe Wein. “But you can call me Moish,” he said, with an air of someone who’s been through it enough times that he reflexively explained, “I’m named for a few different elter zeides, and I was also born on Zayin Adar, so my father shlita thought it was a good name. But like I said, just call me Moish.”

2024-03-06T17:09:26+00:00January 4th, 2021|Our VOICE|

The Sun Will Yet Shine

How could I wait while the world moved on and I was a ghost of myself — not a mother, not a daughter, not a wife? You know me. That woman in the grocery. The one with the freshly washed wig, crossbody, and trendy sunglasses. Super capable, a great multitasker. I was all of those things. Until I wasn’t. This is my story.

2024-03-06T17:09:59+00:00November 25th, 2020|Our VOICE|

The Darkness Behind My Smile

I am laying against the wall with my fingers in my ears.  My eyes are closed shut.  I feel the pressure of my husband’s hand on my back.  Holding my breath for a few moments too long, my teeth are clenched.  I never knew I had so many tears.  I never knew I could be in a world of people but feel like I am stuck in a box, alone, in the dark. 

2024-03-06T17:10:28+00:00November 2nd, 2020|Our VOICE|

Yom Tov is Coming and All I Feel is Dread….

Summer is still very much in the air. The temperature is warm, we are still on a crazy schedule crazy schedule of no sleep, and we take a look at the calendar and do a double take. Really?!? Elul is almost over?!? Can Rosh Hashana be that close to NOW?

2024-03-06T17:17:57+00:00September 16th, 2020|Our VOICE|
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